“An oak tree is brought into creation by two forces at the same time. Obviously, there is the acorn from which it all begins, the seed which holds all the promise and potential, which grows into a tree. Everybody can see that. But only a few can recognize that there is anther force operating here as well—the future tree itself, which wants so badly to exist that it pulls the acorn into being, drawing the seedling forth with longing out of the void, guiding the evolution from nothingness to maturity.” —Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love
Over the past week, I moved out of my childhood home as a self-sufficient adult for the first time in my life. And I was once again struck by how once you let go of the life you have planned, the life that’s waiting for you falls into place. The theme of my blog truly is the theme of my life.
You see, the life I had planned went a little differently. I met Alexis when I was 20 years old. In the life I had planned, we dated for five years and got engaged at 25. (This year, for those who aren’t keeping up with the math.) Then at 26 or 27 we would be married.
Instead, I chose a path that went separate ways from Alexis. I felt I still had something to do on my own. I was terribly confused. I lost myself for a few years. But coming back to him was like coming home.
None of this was according to plan. It is not the neat, perfect fairy tale story I dreamed of as a little girl. But in the time I spent apart from him, I matured. I don’t think we could be anywhere near as successful together as we are today if I hadn’t gone my own way. At least, it worked out the way it did, so why bother to look back?
I wanted to force things. I wanted so badly to move in together, to get to the next step as fast as possible, but once I just let go and focused on living my life, I appreciate it a lot more now that we have finally reached that next step.
That brings us to today, specifically the apartment we have. We were looking for a while, and I tried so hard to find the perfect place. I could feel I was forcing it. When I finally let go and accepted we would find a place to live and it didn’t have to be perfect, the perfect place fell into our lap. It is better than I even could have dreamed. And I feel so fortunate and blessed. Not just for this apartment, but for all of the love and support we’ve gotten from our families and friends in the process.
Letting go and accepting life in the moment means the difference between misery and happiness.
Going back to the quote I opened with, I believe there is a future that is more perfect than I can even imagine or plan for. That future is pulling me forward.